11 Ways to be a Rock Star Teammate
Someone on the radio the other day said rock and roll is dead. Dream on!
While I’m not about to make the case for belting out a Queen song in the shower or blaring the new Blink 182 song during your next Zoom call, being a rock star teammate is when we inspire those around us to want to be a better person.
Our best selves are always under construction. I struggle sometimes at being at my best and I've made plenty of mistakes over my life so far - drank too much in the 90s, been divorced, and made a few dicey hiring decisions. What counts most is getting it right in the moment. What I mean about being a Rock Star is when we live our lives leading by example. Here are 11 ways to be one among your colleagues…
1. Know Yourself
Give me a firm place to stand and I will move the earth.
– Archimedes
How often do you drive without a destination in mind or play a game without reading the instructions? In life, we do this all the time. We run from one day to the next, juggling one task after another without thinking holistically about what aspects of our lives are most important, what values resonate most, and from where do we draw our energy and passion.
Knowing these answers and playing to our strengths rather than expending tremendous amounts of energy to cover our flaws sets us up for success. And this is especially important in a post pandemic world - The best leaders recognize where they’re flagging and recharge using their individual sources of inspiration and solace to redouble their efforts and they inspire others to do the same.
Encouraging our teammates to know their personality types, their strengths, and their behaviors on how they handle conflict is key to building cohesiveness and alignment across our teams. At work, ZERO Prostate Cancer, we took it a step further and put all these details in powerpoint so we all have a type of “user manual” for each other.
Take Away: Firmly place yourself within your strengths, share your vulnerabilities, and success will follow.
2. Be Selfless
The Ancient One: Arrogance and fear still keep you from learning the simplest and most significant lesson of all.
Dr. Stephen Strange: Which is?
The Ancient One: It’s not about you.
People are drawn to those who act selflessly. Those who love and give generously discover fulfillment that extends far beyond money, status, or a title at work. Our counsel is often sought and the positivity reflected back on us creates a lasting inner fulfillment.
We all fall down in life, getting back up is survival. Turning around and giving a hand to the next person who falls and helping by showing them the way forward is selflessness. I meet cancer patients all the time who only have several months to live but what they ask the most is what they can do to help make a difference. These champions are true role models about what’s most important.
Take Away: Putting others' needs first is contagious and it makes us less caught up in our own drama.
3. Admit Mistakes
Even monkeys fall from trees.
– Japanese proverb
Pride is a powerful emotion. Taking pride in our families, our communities, and our work is gratifying but holding onto pride above all else can blind us from the things that need to change within ourselves. We all have shortcomings. Rather than burying them, let them out. It’s an amazing cathartic feeling to let go, admit a mistake, and move on. The amazing thing that comes with admitting a mistake is that it builds trust and others admire those who do more because it makes us human and more relatable.
Seldom have I admitted a mistake - whether it’s within my family or at work - that someone continued to hold a grudge. In fact, most times the other person isn't thinking about our mistakes at all. The point is that our shortcomings and mistakes eat at us far more than they do anyone else. When we open up and admit a mistake, it instantly lets go of all that garbage that had been living in our heads and it can even rekindle a relationship.
Take Away: More than anything else, vulnerability and courage empower others.
4. Face Your Fear
The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
– Nelson Mandela
Life can be amazing and full of experiences beyond our imagination. It’s waiting just on the other side of the fears that hold us back and tell us we can’t live the dream. No matter how hard we try, there’s never a way around the things that scare us. The only way is through them. Thinking about fear is the worst part. Fear can be like the monster under the bed – terrifying and paralyzing. But just like the monster under the bed, it’s all make-believe.
Face the monster head-on with its gnashing teeth and sharp talons and vanquish it.
As a middle-aged guy, my son got me started in karate and I fought in a knock-down tournament against a black belt. For seven hours, I waited for the match – dreading it and looking for excuses to go home. It turned out, the fear of the unknown was far worse than the match itself. The struggles in our heads can sap our energy and confidence far more than anything or anyone can ever do.
Take Away: Fear tells us what we have to do.
5. The Way You Do One Thing is the Way You Do Everything
Never half-ass two things, whole ass one thing.
– Ron Swanson
This feels incredibly difficult at times especially after sitting in PJs from the waist down on Zoom calls for the past two years. Leaders inspire others to do what inspires them. Repetition leads to good habits and is the most powerful tool for communication. Author Patrick Lencioni says that CEOs and other leaders need to be chief reminding officers. He’s right. Whether we're repeating the same message 100 times or demonstrating positive behavior by our actions.
Cutting corners or a lack of communication and context can also lead to bad habits. We get frustrated with others easily but too often our own process on how we approach people, a situation, or a project is what needs changing.
I first heard the phrase "The way you do one thing is the way you do everything" during a crazy endurance event called the GORUCK Challenge where a former special forces cadre would put you through hell with a rucksack for 12 to 24 hours. It resonated with me because if it works well for the Army, then it’s a tool worthwhile for everyday living.
6. Forgive Yourself and Others
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
– Mark Twain.
We all have resentments we hold onto. Chances are the person we're upset or disappointed at doesn’t even know. Guess what? We're letting that person occupy space in our head rent-free. Maybe it’s not resentment but confusion about the direction we’re going in but either way, all that built up toxicity is slowly killing us.
Brené Brown says it well - “The story I’m telling myself is…” If we can tell others what we’re inventing in our heads and we can truly shrug off the criticisms of others then we’re opening up space for innovation, opportunity, and adventure.
Take Away: If we let the demons live in our heads, there wouldn’t be room for things that matter most.
7. Have Gratitude
When you’ve got so much to say, it’s called gratitude.
– Beastie Boys
There’s no way our successes are ours alone. We got to where we're at because of the help and sacrifice of others. Being grateful is a state of mind that generates positivity. We all get in a funk and sometimes rail against the forces that seemingly build an invisible forcefield between us and all that stuff we’d like to have or things we’d like to do.
At ZERO, we have something called #ZEROProud. At each staff meeting we call out a colleague who is living one of our values and it's always a highlight of someone's week to hear that they're doing an awesome job.
Take Away: Demonstrating gratitude is the glue that holds a cohesive team together.
8. Surround Yourself with Stunning Colleagues
You make me want to be a better man.
– Melvin Udall, As Good as it Gets
People naturally seek others who bring out the best in them. We must go out of our way to add people into our lives who have qualities and skills that we don’t have. It makes us more well-rounded people and if we build meaningful relationships with those people, they’ll have our backs and cover our weaknesses with their strengths.
The secret to the success where I work is that I genuinely believe everyone on staff has a certain something special about them that everyone else looks at and says to themselves, “Wow! I want that for myself”.
Take Away: Place yourself around people who make you better.
9. Empower Others
If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.
– Antoine de Saint-Exupery
There’s only one Ryan Reynolds. Superhero actor. Phone entrepreneur. Alcohol baron. Sports team owner. The rest of us can't do it all. When we foster a culture of high responsibility and high freedom to those who are closely-aligned with our vision, something amazing happens.
Those colleagues not only feel empowered and valued but they act in your best interest even when you're not there.
Early in my career, I worked for this guy who demanded that everyone on staff tell him “goodnight” each day before we left. I used to say it was an old-fashioned idea but after hearing horror stories about having to write down how every six minutes is spent or how keyboard strokes are being recorded, this behavior is plain stupid.
Where’s the trust? The organization I’ve had the honor to lead for the last 10 years has been named one of the 50 Best Places to Work for by the NonProfit Times nine times. A big reason is because we value high responsibility and high freedom as a core culture aspect. When we let people manage themselves, work independently toward closely-aligned goals, and let them take the time they need to recharge, they will do what's best for the team.
Take Away: Entrusting teammates that the success of your mission depends on their successes in their roles, empowers them to take ownership in the goal.
10. Start Over
Most [people] live lives of quiet desperation and die with their song still inside them.
– Henry David Thoreau
It's never too late. Our lives are a blink in the entire span of time. We were meant to burn brightly like comets. Too often, we get stuck thinking our destiny has been determined or our day is ruined because it's off to a "bad" start.
Don't be complacent where we are in our lives or our careers. Adventure is out there. We grow complacent because one day turns into another like the movie, Groundhog Day. If we’re having a difficult or even a mundane day then we can start our day over. It doesn't matter if it's 10 a.m., noon, or four in the afternoon. My kids have known from an early age that if they've gotten up on the wrong side of the bed or made a mistake, it's never too late to let go of the past and just start the day over again.
Take Away: Seize the day.
11. Celebrate the Little Things
Zombieland Rule No. 32: Enjoy the Little Things
The list of things to do will never end. Why are we working so hard? We need to step away to revel in our wins. An interesting thing happens when we do - It trains our brain to crave the reward of the next win and it prepares itself for the effort ahead.
No one will remember the contract we won but they will remember if you were present and sharing life’s little moments. Most nights at the dinner table, I ask my family what their highlight of the day was.
Take Away: Make time for highlights. What was yours today?
